3 ways to communicate client responsibility

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How to ensure therapy is the joint endeavour it needs to be - by Mark Tyrrell

"Great! We can work as a team on this!" courtesy of o5com

There you are, struggling - drowning even - in a tempestuous sea. Thankfully, your rescuer arrives before you go under and promptly throws you an inflatable life jacket. They have, for the time being, fulfilled their responsibility as rescuer.

But now you have a responsibility - to put the jacket on.

We work with, not on, our clients, and they need to know this.

People can sometimes adopt a deep passivity about their lives, expecting and waiting for things to be done to and done for them.

To be successful, psychotherapy - which includes hypnotherapy - requires the client to take 'ownership' of their share of the therapeutic work. Any kind of 'magical thinking', particularly in relation to the role of hypnosis in treatment, can become an obstacle to the real work of change.

So how can we powerfully convey the importance of client responsibility?

1. Say it straight

There is no mystery about this. It's absolutely fine to lay it on the line and say something straightforward like:

You know, the real changing happens inside you and we need to work together. We can work as a team, if you do your part.

2. Use analogy

I'll often bring in the life jacket analogy (see above), or I might say something along the lines of:

Okay, now there is a lot I can help you with and, of course, you need to let me help you. I'm learning to play the guitar. I have a wonderful guitar teacher, but I'm the one who has to bring my guitar to the lessons, pay attention to what I'm being taught and practise regularly as best I can...

3. Talk about their capabilities

You never hypnotise anyone. You help them explore their hypnotic potential. But the point is, it is their own psychotherapeutic or hypnotic potential which is pivotal.

So we might very permissively suggest:

You know, I'm very curious as to just how much of your hypnotic potential you can explore and develop today, and perhaps you can really enjoy that sense of curiosity too and wonder where it will take you...

Talking like this is pretty hypnotic in itself, as it encourages greater openness to ideas and expectation of change.

Talking in terms of what they can do encourages a sense of capability and also subtly communicates their personal role in their therapeutic progress.

As Dr Milton Erickson once said: "What your patient does and what he learns must be learned from within himself. There is not anything you can force into the patient."

Mark Tyrrell is a therapist, trainer and author and is the co-founder of Hypnosis Downloads, the web's busiest hypnosis site where you can get a cutting-edge hypnosis session for almost any situation.

You can train with Mark Tyrrell from anywhere in the world, on our distance learning therapy courses, in topics such as Learn hypnosis online, Lift depression fast and the Fast Phobia Cure.

You can learn How to Stop Anyone Smoking with Mark Tyrrell on our Smoking Cessation Training Course (online).

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